ಮನದಾಳದ ಹಲವು ಮುಖಗಳು ...

ಮನದಾಳದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವು ಮುಖಗಳು ....ಅಬ್ಬಾ ಹಲವು ಬಣ್ಣಗಳು, ಪಾತ್ರಗಳು. ಒ೦ದೊ೦ದು ವಿಚಿತ್ರವೆನಿಸಿದರು ....ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯ.


ಎಲ್ಲ ಇದ್ದರು ಏನೋ ಒ೦ದಿಲ್ಲ ಅಥವಾ ಏನು ಇಲ್ಲ ಅನ್ನೋ ಕೊರಗು
ಹಸಿದ ಆಸೆಗಳ ಅಬ್ಬರದ ಅಲೆಗಳು
ಒಮ್ಮೆ ನಾನೇ ಎಲ್ಲ/ನಾನು ಶೂನ್ಯ ಎ೦ಬ ಮೆರೆದಾಟ/ಅಲೆದಾಟ ....
ಎಲ್ಲವ ಕವಿಯುವ ಸಿಟ್ಟಿನ ಗಟ್ಟಿ ದವಡೆ
ನಿಜ ಪ್ರೇಮದ/ಪ್ರೇಮಿಯ ಹುಡುಕಾಟ ....ಅದೇ ಸರ್ವಸ್ವ ಅನ್ನೋ ಕೂಗು
ಕ್ಷಣಕಾಲ ಅಪರೂಪಕ್ಕೆ ಹುಟ್ಟಿ ...ಸಾಯುವ ಕರುಣೆ ..

ಈ ಆರು ಮುಖಗಳು ಇವೆಯಲ್ಲ ..... ಅನಿವಾರ್ಯ ಅ೦ದೆ ನೋಡಿ....:)....ವಿಕ್ರಮನ ಬೆನ್ನು ಹೊಕ್ಕ ಬೇತಾಳಗಳ ತರ....

ಆದರೆ ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲ ಮುಖಗಳಿವೆ ...ಅವುಗಳ ಹುಡುಕ ಬೇಕಷ್ಟೇ ....

ಕಲಿಯೋ ಆಸೆ (ಪಾ೦ಡಿತ್ಯ ಪ್ರದರ್ಶಿಸಲಿಕ್ಕಲ್ಲ ....)...ಮಗುವಿನ೦ತ ಮನಸ್ಸಿದ್ದರೆ ಸಾಧ್ಯ...
ಕಲಿತದ್ದು ನುಡಿದು, ನಡೆಯೋ ಛಲ ...
ಪರರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ನಿಜವಾದ ಕಾಳಜಿ...ತಕ್ಕ ಸಲಹೆ ...ಸ್ನೇಹ ..
ಕಷ್ಟ = ಸುಖ ....ಅನ್ನೋ ಗಟ್ಟಿ ನ೦ಬಿಕೆ ...

ಈ ನಾಲ್ಕು ಮುಖಗಳು ....ಪರಿಶ್ರಮ ಪಟ್ಟರೆ ಮೊದಲ ಆರು ಮುಖಗಳ ಮೋಡಗಳ ಕರಗಿಸಿ ....ದೈನ೦ದಿನ ಬದುಕಲ್ಲಿ 'ಸಾಥ್' ಕೊಡುತ್ತವೆ.

ಇವತ್ತಿಗೆ ಸಾಕು ಇಷ್ಟು ಫಿಲಾಸಫಿ

ಬೆ೦ಗಾವಲು

"ಆ ಮಾಲ್ನಲ್ಲಿ ಈ ಬ್ರಾಂಡ್ ಔಟ್ಲೆಟ್ ಇಲ್ಲ "
"ಅಲ್ಲ ಕಣೋ ಅದೆಷ್ಟು ಸಿಸಿ ಬೈಕ೦ತ ಕೇಳ್ದ?"
"ಹೋಂ ಥಿಯೇಟರ್ ಲೈಕಾಯ್ತು ...."
ಮೂವರು ಗೆಳೆಯರು ಕಾಡು ನಡುವೆ ಬೈಕುಗಳ ನಿಲ್ಲಿಸಿ ಮಾತಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದರು.

ಸುತ್ತಲು ಹಸಿರು ಬೆಟ್ಟಗಳು .....ಕಾಡು ಸೀಳಿ ತುದಿಕಾಣದ೦ತೆ ಹೊರಟ ರಸ್ತೆ. ಅಲ್ಲಲ್ಲಿ ಮೇಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ...ಜೀವದ ಮೇಲೆ ಆಸೆಯಿಲ್ಲದ ಹಸುಗಳು. ದೂರಕ್ಕೊ೦ದು ಹೆಸರ೦ತೆ ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ತು೦ಬಿದ ಕೆರೆ. ಅದರ ಬಳಿ ನರ ಮನುಷ್ಯನ ಗುರುತಿಗಾಗಿ ಬೇರೆಲ್ಲ ಮರಗಳ ಬೋಳಿಸಿ ....ಬೆಳೆದಿದ್ದ ಅಡಿಕೆ ತೋಟಗಳು. ಲಯವಾಗಿ ಬೀಸುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಗಾಳಿಗೆ ....ಇಡಿ ಮರಕುಲವೇ ತೂಗುತ್ತ ....ಹೊಟ್ಟೆ ತು೦ಬಿದ ನ೦ತರದ ತೂಕಡಿಕೆಯ ತಯ್ಯಾರಿಯಲ್ಲಿತ್ತು.

ಇ೦ತ ಸ್ವರ್ಗ ಸುತ್ತ ಇದ್ದರು ನಮ್ಮ ಸಿಟಿ ಹೈದರು....ಎಲ್ಲೋ ಅಪರೂಪಕ್ಕೆ ಇ೦ತ ಅವಕಾಶ ಸಿಕ್ಕರು, ಸವಿಯದೆ ಮಾಲ್, ಬೇಲ್, ಬೈಕು ,ಕುಯ್ಕು ಅ೦ತ ಸಮಯ ಕಳೆಯೋದೆ? ....ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿವರೆಗೂ ಬರಬೇಕಿತ್ತೆ?

ಇದು ಕಾ೦ಕ್ರೀಟು ಕಾಡಿನ ಬೆ೦ಗಾವಲು....ಶಾಪ.

ಪಾತ್ರಧಾರಿ

"ಇವತ್ತು ಯಾವ ಪಾತ್ರ ?"
"ಶಿವಪ್ಪ ಕಾಯೋ ತ೦ದೆ "
"ಬಹಳ ಬೋರಿ೦ಗು "
"ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಪಾಡಿಗೆ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಒ೦ದೆ"
"ಅಲ್ಲ ಅವತ್ತು ಅಷ್ಟು ಜನ ಇದ್ರೂವೆ ಕಲೆಕ್ಷನ್ ಜೋರಿರ್ಲಿಲ್ಲ ....ನಾನೇಳಿದ್ದು ಹೋದ ಶನಿವಾರದ ವಿಷಯ"
"ಅವತ್ತು ಒ೦ದು ಕೆಲಸ ಆಯ್ತು, ನಮ್ಮಲ್ಲೊಬ್ಬ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿಬಿದ್ದ ....ಭಿಕ್ಷೆ ಡ್ಯೂಟಿ ಜೊತೆ ಕಳ್ಳತನ ಮಾಡಿ ಸಿಕ್ಬಿದ್ದ "
"ಹಾಗೇನು ....ಹೊಸ ಹುಡುಗರೇ ಹೀಗೆ ....ಒ೦ದು ಕೆಲಸನು ನೆಟ್ಟಗೆ ಕಲ್ಯೋಲ್ಲ ....ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಗೊತ್ತಿರೋ ಹಾಗೆ ಪೋಸು ಬೇರೆ ...ಸರಿ ಟೈಮಾಯ್ತು ಬರ್ತೀನಿ "

ಪಾತ್ರ ಕೇಳಿತ್ತು ಮನ ....ಪಾತ್ರ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿತು ಮನಸ್ಸಿನ ಲೆಕ್ಕಾಚಾರ . ಶಿವಪ್ಪ ಕಾಯೋ ತ೦ದೆ, ಉಳ್ಳವರ ಪುಸಲಾಯಿಸೋ ಕಾರ್ಯ...ಬಾಸು,ಕಾಸು ಎಲ್ಲವು/ರು ಉಳ್ಳವರೇ. ಕಳ್ಳತನ ಬೇರೆಯವರ ಪಾಡು ನೋಡಿ ಬ೦ದ ನಗು. ಕಲೆಕ್ಷನ್ನು ಬಲೆಗೆ ಬಿದ್ದ ಚಿಲ್ಲರೆ ಪ್ರಶ೦ಸೆ.

PGSEM

 I set out on journey to aim at MBA couple of years back. I wanted to do it in one of the top 100 programs in the world and I was looking for one year MBA. I was almost ready with acceptance for Bradford one year MBA in UK. Had to cancel the decision to bail out one of my elder brothers who lost heavy money in finance business.

 I looked for alternatives without quitting the work. I wanted the best as I was not looking just for adding MBA tag. PGSEM(http://pgsem.iimb.ernet.in/) fit the bill. Went through admission test, interviews. Finally results are out and I have been accepted as one of the 75 students for the 09 PGSEM batch:)

  Let me outline the selection process:

1) I took PGSEM test as I did not have CAT score and didn't want to risk mentioning GMAT score:). The test was mostly CAT type with two essays at the end.

2) Alumni interview(informal)...which does carry lots of weight.

3) Faculty Interview(one of my previous posts speaks of it)

My second brother(Dr.Mahadeva Prasanna Sompura Rajashekaraiah, an IIT PhD and associate professor at IITGuwahati(http://www.iitg.ernet.in/ece/) was very proud of me(which is a rare thing:)...). He shunned my ways of spending too much time in Gym/Martial Arts/Philosophy and so on from my college days. Somehow I always felt that its OK to score some threshold marks in studies. This put my family especially my brother in to concern. My aggregate in BE is not that great as I always looked forward to score cut off that industry required:) . This time in PGSEM I have made a determination to put 100 percent. Still I want to balance swimming/gym/Philosophy activities:)...they are part of me now just like eyes and so on.

Pic1. IIMB where I will spend next 2.5 years(900-1050 hours of classroom session) for PGSEM
pic2. My Kannada medium school up to 5th standard in my native village Sompura

Short Story.....first serious attempt

Top of the Hill...

---

They were walking as fast as they can. Aman and Ram were on a trek in a forest near Bangalore. Ram was little tired. Aman was ahead of him, clearing any thorny branches ahead with beatings from a stick. The skull of a cow, they saw few minutes back scared them. Somewhere there might be a man eater around, they thought. They tried to run for few steps. But as they did not see any animal and unaware of the direction to run towards they just pressed on looking for any paths made by other trekkers. Sweat shirts they wore were dirty now and smelled heavily of perspiration.

Ram was of medium height with French beard. He had sharp eyes hidden behind his spectacles. He was gaining weight recently. Aman was tall and slender. They took off few days from work for this trek.

After reaching a spot where few other people were there, they sat down. They were relieved to see few forest guards with guns. Aman offered cigarettes to the guards. They were happy and told many tales of the forest. For few hours they were lost in tales, asking many questions in between. One guard Devu, told about the guest house that’s there deep in the forest where tourists stayed. The place apparently had a village some hundred years back. The people of the village were wiped out due to plague at that time. The guard told that he was more scared of freely roaming spirits of the dead people than the wild animals. Evening was approaching and the shadow of the opposite hill covered the entire place they sat.

They shifted to that guest house. Next morning they were chatting in the early morning, when sun light was trying to peep in to the room.

“There is a hill about 10 kilometers from here”. Ram said as he started munching the sandwich.

“Few hundred years back there was a queen called Shantala. She was a Jain and her husband King Vishnuvardhana embraced a different faith and mentor”.

“You mean he converted himself? “ Aman enquired as he was looking in to mirror trying to figure out how many hairs in his beard have turned white.

“Correct…but he never forced her in to his beliefs….they accepted each other as they were. Not interfering in each others freedom of thoughts.”

Ram finished one sandwich, opened the cap of a soft drink can.

“This queen jumped from the top of the hill..I mean sacrificed self for some reason.”

“What was the reason? Was she not happy with King or people’s sufferings?”

“I was searching for that over internet. One said she died as she could not have children. Other said it was part of her beliefs.”

“It’s a tourist spot now..I mean top of the hill where she jumped from?”

“That’s right. Also she was a good dancer.”

“Wahv…!”

“She danced to express divinity…only on religious occasions. Once when neighboring King arrived late, during one such occasion, he missed her dance.”

“Ok.”

“A request was sent by this King through his queen. He was desperate to see the dance.”

“Did she perform?”

“No. Probably she felt he was more interested in seeing her dance than the divinity in it.”

“He might have felt bad?”

“But that’s how she was. She told the other queen, that performance was for the gods. She maintained her own standards and never compromised.”

“May be she felt, he was not serious about this occasion … that’s why he was late?”

“Yes Aman, there was no reason to be late, no traffic jams and so on those times” (Laughter)

Ram left a deep breath, rolled and closed his eyes indicating his summing up of queen Shantala’s story.

“I feel then it’s not a suicide…?” Aman expressed, Ram nodded.

Both started smoking cigarettes. Aman tried to say some thing but took some more time to be clear what to say.

“Dost (friend)…death is so easy man. I mean the process itself takes few seconds. But to die for one’s beliefs is tough…. hats off to the queen. People remember her among countless queens who had lived here.”

After sometime “Ram you see no one in either of our families have died for any cause. More or less everyone followed the same cycle. Get a job, get married, earn name no matter what you adopt for it, have children then die one day”.

There was silence after that. The room itself seemed quite, as if listening to them. The squirrel on a tree near to the window was shouting for some reason. Ram was running his fingers through his French beard, feeling its perfection in its journey from under the nose to bottom on the chin. He wore a jeans and a sweat shirt. The jean was dirty and he never cared about that. He was looking in to a shirt hung opposite to him, with sleeves rolled. The water in the bottle just used, was swaying with rhythm, as if it was waiting to sway for long. Very frequently he checked top of his tummy, and consoled himself that it had not grown beyond what it was yesterday. Truth was that it grew more in last few months. Aman was wearing a half pant and naked on the top. He was lying on a bed and kept his fore arms under head, to elevate it even beyond what pillow did.

“Idiot, last time I called, you were in a party. I told you ‘take care of your celibacy?’ What happened after that?” Ram tossed a question, Aman returned a grin. Ram looked away and started laughing.

The guest house they stayed was an old building with no fresh layer of paint. There was no manager. The security staff Devu looked after it. He also made money from food and laundry for his guests. He would drink everyday and quarrel with his wife.

The house stood on a small hill, one of the two twin hills. The road to the house connected the top of both these hills. One has to go on the other hill to access cell phone signals. You can have overview of the surrounding green hills from here, which is not possible from the guest house as it’s covered by huge trees. Life here almost seemed to be at standstill, tranquil.

Ram could not sleep for long time.

“Aman”

“Ha…tell me”.

“You know there is one more place left for us to see”.

“OK”.

“One is an old fort on one of the hills, some where inside it has door to heaven”.

“Door to what…?”

“It’s to heaven dude. When I heard about for the first time, was very curious. It’s on descending part of the hill. On the entrance it’s carved on the stone as door to heaven”.

“The hills here are crazy! You told of a queen and now a door to heaven. Can one go inside this door?”

“It’s very dark inside. You don’t know what lies ahead. There might be snakes, bats…I heard it’s an underground tunnel. May be it was built by the king to escape from enemies or may be he sent captured enemies to heaven through this tunnel...” laughter commanded the ambience for some time.

Aman got up from his bed saying, “Let’s enter that door man. May be we get the treasure, hid by the king. Indirectly he might be telling us about the treasure. I have read that they buried the treasures, so that the enemies who won can never loot them. Don’t you think so…?”

“Are you kidding..? We will not come back alive”.

“Let’s die for a treasure. Die we may have to one day”.

“Sleep now you ass.”

--

Next day they were recalling some incidents from college days.

"Ram you remember the day we met your uncle. We were drenched in rain. Clothes

were soiled. He was angry when we asked for loan to start a business. 'Why you

students have to think of earning money now?'. I think he has high BP."

"Then he wrote to my father. He said 'Ram is getting spoilt with that north Indian

friend. I am informing you now. Don't blame me afterwards'"

“Ha ha...so I spoilt you..beggar? You told me that we will steal his car and sell it off?"

Both laughed loudly for long time at the top of the hill, outside the old guest house, under the tree chained by uncountable types and layers of flora.

"Why are we here man?" Aman muttered.

"What..?...why are you here?" repeated Ram.

"Not on the hill but on earth".

"Somewhere… something terribly went wrong between your parents and that's why you are here?" (laughter).

"I mean there is a so much that history tells. Take this place itself. So many tales...deep ones."

There was silence as both looked away deep in to valleys around the place.

"We are counting always...counting money…counting enemies...fears..."

"And any count of your girl friends?” Again there was laughter.

***

Next morning they left to have a walk in river nearby. Devu was leading them in the river with knee deep water. He was dragging his right leg. No body asked him about that, but he started on his own.

"I danced like mad at my friend's wedding yesterday. The bride and groom were paraded

from house to temple.”

Ram nodded.

“It must have been tiring?”

“It's about a kilometer that we went. People from houses came out. Many garlanded them. The band set guys played latest numbers from movies. It was too tempting.”

“You must have danced hard?” Ram enquired as Devu returned a proud smile.

Devu started again, “You know sir? Our dance does not have any sequence. No need to remember or worry about how you are performing."

Ram, “Just like your drinking alcohol..? You don’t need reason…..right?”

Devu laughed without a trace of shame or awakening.

“Devu, since when you started drinking?” Aman posed a question, while Ram was focusing the camera towards a flying Eagle nearby.

“In high school sir, during elections…. We got it for free.”

“So elections made drunkard out of you?” Ram gave a sarcastic smile.

“Yes sir, so many candidates in the contest. We would go in a group to each of them and say ‘Anna (elder brother) we swear by our wives that we will vote for you’. He had to shell out few bottles.”

“So except women everyone is sort of drunk during elections in your village?”

“Correct. The rich voters get scotch whiskey and we get cheap brands.”

Ram stopped and tried to see if there are any fishes in the river.

“Aman you know when I was a child; I used to walk around in farms in bare foot. I would run to part of field where water is just flowing in. I chose dry part of land where water would rush next moment.”

“Oh great, why was that?”

“I was thrilled to feel the dry part of soil under my feet becoming soft and lose its temperature. It made me happy immensely.”

Aman felt lovely listening and imagining it.

“We were so happy in childhood even in very simple things. Now it’s all mathematics in mind. You are almost lost in trying to prove to others.” Aman looked lost.

“You lose all those simple dreams like your running to feel the water. You lose them willingly; you throw them only to embrace fame and fortune for a lifetime.”

Ram picked a wild red flower, stuck in between a rock and a plant.

“Your simplicity is lost forever.” Ram said as he pulled out petal after petal from the flower.

They walked for long and their heavy steps echoed in the dead silence of the jungle. But their hearts felt light as they were trying to rediscover what truly makes them happy. Ram stopped frequently to take photos of birds. He would shout at others to stop so that birds do not fly away due to noise.

“I have been telling you for ages to stop. See that rare little bird escaped”, Ram told with disapproval.

“You pig, you can shoot from a distance, and the resolution is high in the Digicam. Didn’t you read the user guide? You piece of software code”, Aman laughed.

“Bird does not know what Megapixel, the camera has…. your majesty.” (Laughter)

They walked until they were tired. They could cover many kilometers as they went along with the current of the stream. The dry leaves of many kinds, traveled along the river, shining in the sunlight and sometimes one could see their shadows under water. The rocks were slippery and as they were barefoot, falling was not an issue. They felt like they were children again. The laughter reached far away bushes. They sat down on a huge rock standing in the river. They liked the feel of river flowing, when their legs are dipped in, remaining still.

--

That evening Devu’s wife was filling an old kettle with water. Devu slept outside as it was summer. He was singing aloud, a song from government sponsored literacy movement.

“Brother, there is no light in our lives.

For one moment torture your wisdom.

Brother, there is no light in our lives.”

Ram and Aman looked in to each others faces and laughed.

“You drink daily, beat wife and then ask why there is no light?” they thought.

“This guy is in his early thirties. His hands shake when he holds something little heavy. Drinking has taken its toll.” Aman said with regret.

“So many young boys take to drinking, get addicted during elections due to free liquor. Then they neglect sports or whatever that keeps them fit. Within few years they are unfit to their age.”

Aman, “For Devu democracy rocks….?” (with regret)

“Yes, at least it puts a big rock in to their lives...finishes off peace in families of poor. Somebody gets richer on somebody else’s misery.”

“Elections are door to hell for their mothers and wives” Aman concluded. There was darkness outside the window, but darkness in Devu’s family was deeper.

---

The last day it was afternoon. They sat on the top of the hill away from the guest house.

“It was nice, almost like rediscovering yourself and priceless childhood”. Ram looked away in to trees, hills and sky ahead.

“We saw the skull, walked in river, discussed of queen, door to heaven and then laughed at Devu.” Aman tried to sum up. They were sitting on a stone of the ruined village. He regretted that they would be going away from this hill. Everything looked very small from here. Even egoism melted away, diluting in to majestic calm around.

MBA interview

1. tell me about the company u r working for?

2. ur CEO is he famous as entrepreneur or technocrat?

3.why indian companies have very less patents filed per year?

4.does brain drain a bad thing for india...and one of reasons for less of research in india?

these are some of questions for my interview for an executive MBA program i had applied. awaiting results in couple of weeks

Obama Rocks

"We cannot rule by anger"---about wall street banking gurus who dragged economy down

"greed and short term gain" ---about capitalism for last few years

These are few statements by Obama.

This guy Obama is morally intelligent. We need morally intelligent leaders who are not just concerned about rich. We have seen enough of intelligent leaders (minus morals) who ruled the wall street with greed of incentives,fame. Need of the hour is morally intelligent leadership just as demonstrated by Lincoln,Kennedy. They ruled more by heart than mathematics in the head.

Obama's speeches have been full of common sense and exceptionally practical, philosophical. US has been known long for fox hearted foreign policy which it inherited from colonial rulers like UK who divided and ruled the world for centuries(just like caste ism in India). They created Osama, Taliban. They created market for their huge defense industry. They plundered oil from you know where.

But US is also the place where hope appears. Hope in the form of Obama. The shift from hard power of military means to soft power of diplomacy is clearly gaining ground in US approach.